Are We Being Realistic?

Family Update:

We had a great Thanksgiving. I hope you and your family did as well. It is always a nice day to eat, talk, watch ball games, and nap:).

I spent my Thanksgiving in Indiana this year. Most of the time we spend this holiday in NY with the "Taft" Family, but this year we decided to stay in Indiana and be with the "Vaughn" Family.

I did miss something really special by not traveling to NY. My father, who passed away this summer at the age of 88, had the fields of the Whitehall Recreation Department, known as the "Playground" to most of us, dedicated to him on Friday. It was a special occasion. My mother and father would have been so proud. My brother was responsible for setting up the ceremony, selecting the monument (it is beautiful), and basically organizing the entire event. The community of Whitehall meant a lot to my father and it was nice to see his loyalty and commitment recognized.

Congratulations Dad!

Are We Being Realistic?

As coaches, athletes and parents we want the best for our kids. We want them to go as far as they can in sports and in life, but are we in need of a reality check sometimes? What I mean is, far to often parents see their child as the next full ride scholarship athlete to attend "University". You know what- it isn't a bad thing, if is kept realistic.

If you look at a college basketball program there is usually 12-15 spots available. Each year there are thousands of high school boys and girls graduating. Each wanting to be one of the 12-15. Of course if you look at all the division I, II, III, and Junior Colleges, there are lots of choices but most people are looking at the Big time.

Having a goal is so important. You should set your goals high and reach for the stars. If you fall short you still could land pretty far up. What I want to discuss is how we communicate this message to our kids.

When an child/athlete comes to you and says I want to play for North Carolina Soccer or basketball, or U of Texas football, Or Penn State Volleyball, or UCLA softball, you need to encourage but also be realistic with them that it may not happen and that is ok.

Wanting to play for the best is natural. But, understanding there are so many other levels and programs that are a perfect fit relaying this message to the child/athlete is really important. If your child is good enough and puts the work in maybe he/she can play at the best programs, but making it seem like a failure if he/she doesn't is where the problem lies.

I had a high school football running back play for me in the late 90's. He was dead set on playing for Florida State as a running back. I talked with him one day and told him to play at that level you have to be able to do and have the following things (I listed the size, speed, strength, and abilities of the running backs that play there). I told him anything is possible, but you must be realistic and look at other options as well. What made him realize how difficult it was to play at that level was when the best player running back in the league (he was bigger, faster, and stronger than my back) went on to play D-III football and struggled at playing even at that level. He realized it might be a wise choice to look at other options.

I didn't squish his dreams. I simply made him see how difficult it is to play at the level he wanted. I encouraged him to work as hard as he could and reach for the level he wanted and if he falls short he will be in a great situation regardless of not making Florida State.

My point is...far too often young minds with huge goals are not given a reality check so they can accept the fact they may not go to the level they want and it is OK. As a matter of fact there are better options out there to fit them.

Please don't confuse this message with helping kids set goals so they reach for the best. I think it is our obligation to cushion the fall before it happens. I wanted to be a division I point guard but absolutely loved my 4 years of college ball at the lower level.

Being happy and knowing we worked hard to get where we are is an important message, but don't ever give up on reaching for more. Don't ever let them settle for less when more is reachable.

Yours in Speed,

Lee

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